With heavy hearts, we announce the passing of Stephen Crossland Bender (“Bampy”, “Mr. Benda”), at the age of 78, on July 19, 2026. Stephen passed away peacefully at his home in Mattapoisett, surrounded by his family.
Born on April 25, 1948, to Gordon Bender and Helen (Synnott) Bender, Stephen grew up in the North End of Fairhaven alongside his siblings, David N Bender and Susan M Bender. He was a standout athlete at Fairhaven High School Class of 1966.
He attended Southern State College in Magnolia, Arkansas, where he met his wife, Sue Ann Franks. The two graduated in 1970 and later married in Provincetown, MA on July 24, 1971.
For over 30 years, "Mr. Benda" was a cornerstone of Fairhaven High School as a Physical Education teacher, football coach, track coach, and founder of the cross-country team. He mentored generations of students and athletes, remembering every stat and keeping lifelong connections with those he coached.
An industrious spirit, Stephen also ran Steve’s Lawn Service and Lumpy’s Seafood clam boil catering. In his downtime he enjoyed summer camping trips across New England—especially at Moosehead Lake in Maine—and finding peace in nature inspired by Henry David Thoreau.
Stephen’s greatest pride was his family. He retired in 2001 and dedicated his later years to supporting his children and grandchildren in every pursuit, traveling with Sue Ann, and enjoying quiet moments in the "Henry David House" he built in his backyard.
He is survived by:
Wife: Sue Ann (Franks) Bender
Children: Dawn Elizabeth (Bender) Jenkins her spouse Jason Jenkins and Joshua Charles Bender and his spouse Claudia (Goodrich) Bender
Grandchildren: Adlai Rythm Sciascia, Daphne Elizabeth Sue Helen Sciascia, Cassidy Helene Jenkins, MacKay Ann Bender and Clayton Edward Bender
Sister: Susan M (Bender) Hart and spouse Keith Hart
Celebration of Life Will be held at Fairhaven High School on August 9th from 1pm to 4pm.
In honor of Coach Stephen C. Bender’s vision in founding the Fairhaven High School Cross Country program and his devoted service as its first head coach for 16 years, the family invites memorial donations to the newly established Coach Stephen C. Bender Memorial Scholarship Fund. All contributions will provide scholarships to graduating Fairhaven High School Cross Country seniors, allowing Coach Bender’s legacy of leadership, mentorship, and commitment to young runners to live on for years to come. The scholarship will be administered through the West Island 5K.
Donations may be made payable to:
West Island 5K
193 Cottonwood Street
Fairhaven, MA 02719
Or via Venmo to:
@claudia-bender-3