Katherine Paris, born on January 16, 1944, in Ansonia, Connecticut, known to all as Kitty, passed away peacefully on May 27, 2023. She was a daughter, a sister, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, and a giver of gifts. She was loving and loved, inspired and inspirational, and an irreplaceable influence on countless lives. She sought out and created beauty, and she often understood others better than they understood themselves. Her children, grandchildren, extended family, and circle of friends miss her while being grateful for her presence in their lives.
The daughter of Francis and Frelan Sparks, Kitty Sparks grew up with sisters Marion and Jane and brothers Dick and Emerson. She moved to NYC and married Matthew Paris, with whom she had four children: Laura, Benjamin, David, and Joshua. For many years she raised her children alone while studying psychology, earning her doctorate in 1988. She remarried Carl Auerbach in 1984, with whom she remained a close friend and co-parent after later separating. She eagerly embraced her in-laws Laurel, Sam, Amelia and Zoe. Her grandchildren, Sebastian, Acadia Violet, Violet Ariandne, August and Rocky brought her great joy.
Kitty lived her life without a seatbelt. She was uncontrollably independent, understanding andsupportive as a mother and a friend, generous, and full of energy. Many lives were touched and enriched by Kitty. She ran art classes for toddlers in her living room in the 1970s and inspired a family of arts educators. She raised children, helped her patients through the most difficult of circumstances, and created and loved beauty in many forms. She was the sparkle of many conversations and the foundation of many lives well lived.
As a psychologist, Kitty used her unparalleled emotional awareness to connect with patients, often in the context of family trauma. She rarely spoke directly about her work, but she clearly understood the needs of her patients and was active in helping them improve their lives.
Perhaps Kitty was happiest while raising her children. It wasn’t easy to raise four children, work full-time, keep the household going, and earn a doctorate, but Kitty pulled it off. As a mother, she understood each of her children’s unique needs and then moved heaven and Earth to see that those needs were met. She was actively involved in their education, encouraged their passions, and somehow found the best care available when they needed it. Kitty often expressed her love and understanding through gifts, finding just the right something that her children would enjoy and make them feel understood. Her fashion choices started her children on their paths developing their personal aesthetic expressions, and Kitty was with them on their individual journeys.
Kitty was a talented artist, expressing her creativity in many different media, from painting to gardening to decorating to creating living spaces through renovation. As a young painter, she preferred oils, with bold colors and abstract scenes merging the familiar with the surreal. Her paintings from this period are among the most cherished of the many gifts she left. Later, she preferred watercolors and themes related to family and emotions. Her paintings captured emotional expression, wherever that expression took her. Later, she expressed herself through decorative gardening and interior design, scouring countless antique stores to collect the ingredients for her distinctive artistic statements. In her garden, every rock, plant, statue, and indescribable thing told a story by itself and contributed to Kitty’s way of shaping her world. Similarly, every element of every room in her many houses contributed to her unique aesthetic. Paintings, sculptures, and furniture were all chosen with care as Kitty made every living space a work of art.
Kitty appreciated beauty as much as she created it. She loved canonical artists such as Matisse and Alice Neel, revolutionaries, and surrealists such as Dali and Magritte who made us question the reality we think we see. She encouraged her children’s artistic endeavors, from Laura’s visual art, to Ben’s martial arts, to David’s acrobatic dancing, to Josh’s renovations and interior design. She loved beauty, creativity, and the human need for expression, in herself and in others. Throughout her adult life Kitty was pulled back and forth between city life and country life. She sought not only the energy and excitement of New York City but also the calm, beauty, and intimacy of small towns and rural life. In the city, she embraced a world of constant change, quirkiness, and the unconventional. But she was always drawn to the charm and connection of country life, forging friendships and building relationships in ways that are possible in smaller communities. Country life also reminded Kitty of her childhood: she referred to the deer around her property as “my mother’s deer,” as though her mother’s spirit lived on in the natural surroundings of Dutchess Country. Did it? We’ll have to ask the deer.
Kitty was a friend of dogs and cats, and had deep relationships with memorable characters with four legs and fur. Greatest among them might be the well-named Sweet Boy, a Labrador of infinite love and decidedly finite intellect. He loved Kitty, and she loved him. Kitty also had a thing for strong and sassy orange cats who roamed the neighborhoods, bringing back tales of their exploits. First among them was Goo Goo, who roamed the streets of Brooklyn, forcing Kitty to search for him, calling his name. Think about it. Also memorable was Orange Cat, he of the generic name and unforgettable personality. Last among them was Butter. While searching for him, Kitty backed her Subaru halfway off of a cliff, which is some evidence of her devotion. All were eventually rescued, with stories worth telling. Kitty was fiercely independent for as long as anyone can remember and until the very end. Even while raising children and devoting her energies to their flourishing, she pursued her vision. She lived independently as long as physically possible, leaving an indelible impression on every moment, until the tides of time took her away.
A celebration of Kitty’s life will take place at the Stissing House Ballroom in Pine Plains, New York on Saturday, June 10th from 11 am to 2 pm.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that remembrances be made in the form of tax deductible contributions to Friends of Stissing Landmarks for Kitty’s Memorial Bench and conservation of Kitty’s beloved Thompson Pond Preserve trails.
venmo : @stissingfiretower (Put Kitty’s Memorial Bench in comments)