From ensuring low-income housing in Belmont to becoming a mentor to youth, family and friends, Jeffrey Adams Wheeler influenced the lives of many and is a treasure gone too soon.
After a courageous battle with cancer, Jeffrey Adams Wheeler, a cherished father, husband, brother, uncle and friend, died Sunday, Dec. 27, peacefully in his home in Belmont, Massachusetts, with devoted family by his side.
Roaring into this world, Jeffrey was born in Natick, Massachusetts to John and Virginia Wheeler on March 19, 1965 and was raised in Sherborn, Massachusetts. From the moment he was born - the last child of six - he not only gained a reputation for his generosity, good nature, and humor, but also beamed a quiet confidence in his style, radiant in natural, and sand dunes colors – from the tip of his bow tie right down to his socks.
Through both positive energy and his ability to make anyone laugh, Jeffrey absolutely exuded sunshine and often said “it’s easier to put a smile on someone’s face than a frown.” Throughout his childhood, Jeffrey found his love for the water - literally getting his feet wet aboard the “Cotton Gin” - his parent’s 45-foot Gulfstar sailboat.
Together, along with Jeffrey’s lifelong friend Tom Meyer, Jeffrey and his parents cruised the New England coastline, traveling from Connecticut to Bar Harbor, Maine to the New Bedford Yacht Club every summer. No matter the weather – through blue skies and storms – Jeffrey would take what he’d learned throughout those years and continue to sail into adulthood – expanding into Southern New England and Long Island Sound with Tom and husband Craig Carson-Wheeler. Up until his death, one of Jeffrey’s favorite things to do was to identify boats that slowly sailed across the horizon.
Jeffrey’s sense of adventure also brought him to the mountains of Maine and Vermont. Just the sight of ski slopes created such excitement for Jeffrey and he often commented that he loved “the crisp crunch of fresh packed snow.” A gracefully talented skier, Jeffrey spent winters in Quechee, Vermont, but also managed to conquer the Olympic-caliber Mont Tremblant in Quebec, Canada.
In addition to his athletic ability, Jeffrey was also fiercely intelligent, and received his undergraduate degree from Colby College; earned his Master’s degree in design and urban planning from the University of Virginia; and then ultimately spent 30 years working as the head of the Planning Division of the Office of Community Development for the Town of Belmont. While Jeffrey worked on hundreds of projects over three decades, specializing in land use, economic development, zoning and planning issues, some of his major achievements included: the construction of Cushing Village; the 2020 approval of mixed-income development on McLean Hospital land; and zoning for the Boston Massachusetts Mormon temple.
But even with all of his local success, by far Jeffrey’s greatest joy was raising his son Francis Rodrigo Wheeler-LaRusso. Adopted as an infant by Jeffrey and his late partner John LaRusso, Francis, known as Frankie, became the light of his life – even as he became a single father after the sudden death of John in 2006. From the day Frankie came into his life, Jeffrey prioritized his son in each and every way, eventually becoming Frankie’s biggest fan throughout his lacrosse career. For years, father and son drove endless hours all over the East coast for lacrosse games and tournaments – time they both cherished.
After caring for Jeffrey through his cancer battle, Frankie referred his father as an “unstoppable force,” his “hero, best friend, ad mentor.”
The bond the two shared also extended to Frankie’s wide network of friends and their parents – better known as the “Belmont village.” Because of Jeffrey’s ability to make each and every person feel special, he was able to connect with youth and inspire them to be the best of themselves, while also bringing them into his family. Because, as he had learned from his mother, and would often proclaim, “there is always room for one more.”
And while it was just Jeffrey and Frankie for a period of time, Jeffrey found love again with Craig Carson-Wheeler, who became his husband on Sunday, Dec. 20, 2020.
For years, leading up to their marriage, Jeffrey and Craig celebrated their love every day with courage, optimism and strength. “We were two lost souls who blessedly found each other - take this sinking boat and point it home," Jeffrey was often heard saying.
Inseparable, the duo took every opportunity to visit their Long Pond cottages on Cape Cod – sailing, taking long walks on the beach, listening to music, and entertaining family and friends with many of Jeffrey’s fabulous home cooked meals, which took hours upon hours to prepare. With a refined taste and extensive knowledge of food and cuisine, Jeffrey was always looked at as the “perfect planner.”
Jeffrey and Craig also loved to frequent antiquing excursions, which took them into the many nooks and crannies of New England. There was never a time Jeffrey didn’t find a lovingly worn treasure, which he, more often than not, gifted to a special loved one in his life.
Even throughout Jeffrey’s cancer battle, the two took the struggle on together and even participated in a cancer study at Massachusetts General Hospital that scientifically determined that positive energy allows a person or patient to have a longer life span; and continued to run auctions to benefit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
Through each challenge, Jeffrey and Craig remained devoted and even talked about future plans of opening an antique shop called Puffin Antiques.
During Jeffrey’s final days, Craig said that Jeffrey continued to exude nothing but “pure sunshine and light.” And as the Covid-19 virus forced them indoors, they loved watching old movies and falling asleep together in bed with their beloved cat Ice curled up beside them.
Jeffrey is survived by his son Francis Rodrigo Wheeler-LaRusso, his spouse Craig Carson-Wheeler, his sister Joyce Wheeler, brother John Wheeler and his wife Michele; his sister Judith Wheeler Devaney and her husband William; brother Jim Wheeler, and Jane Wheeler, and many nieces, nephews, grand-nieces and nephews, cousins and friends.
Jeffrey was also pre-deceased by his parents John and Virginia Wheeler and his long-time partner and co-parent John LaRusso.
