Kathleen Mitchell Carney, 59, of Jamaica Plain died peacefully Saturday, March 22, 2014 at the Elizabeth Evarts de Rham Hospice Home in Cambridge, watched over by her family and enveloped in their love.
She had battled cancer for three years with bravery and optimism, aided in the fight by her exemplary team of doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital. Her initial diagnosis was dire, predicting mere weeks of survival, but she urged them to “use me as a guinea pig,” and impressed them with her indefatigable outlook and vigor despite the disease. The extra time they won she spent well and fully. She was among the first to meet her grand-nephews, and enriched their first 18 months with fun and a love of books. She went home to Florida for Christmas and reunited with a childhood friend. She joined family in Washington, D.C. for her niece's wedding, and in Florida for her stepfather's 95th birthday. She and her wife Karen played tour guide to her nephews visiting from California (in spite of Hurricane Sandy). And she worked, for as long as she was able, which brought her great enjoyment and satisfaction.
Kathleen had been Director of Libraries at the College of the Holy Cross since 2010, and was justly proud of the changes and updates she brought to the campus in even that short tenure. Previously she was Associate University Librarian at Boston College, and before that worked at Loyola University Chicago, where she joked that she began her odyssey of Jesuit schools.
After a brief detour in her youth as a cashier at WeekiWachee Springs, Florida's live-mermaid attraction, she spent her career surrounding herself with books and texts and scholarship. It was only fitting, as she was an avid reader since childhood. But Kathleen never used her easy command of the depth and breadth of her knowledge – history, literature, science, current events – to make others feel inferior. Instead, it made time spent with her seem more fun and special, like when she sprinkled a conversation with just the right allusion or obscure, funny reference, or when she called simple washing-up her “daily ablutions,” or sympathetically noticed small cuts on her brother's hands, which she sorrowfully called “little chilblains.”
She was a great lover of dogs, especially those under-loved by others. But even more than that, she adored her nieces and nephews; any visit with Aunt Kath was sure to be fun and lively.
She had a devilish side, whether it was giving her baby brother a ride on the back of her bike after she’d been forbidden, or, breaking the tedium during a lull at a library conference, dropping beads of water on unsuspecting hotel guests many floors below. But she regularly set herself up as the target of the mischief, such as when she delighted her 2-year-old nephew at an animal park by letting a flamingo nibble exuberantly on her hair.
She loved music, from Dolly Parton to Ella Fitzgerald, from John Denver to Joy Division, from Toscanini to Tom Waits, the latter of whom she had a portrait on her mantle. She didn't care to see any movie more than once, but returned to beloved books over and over again.
She spent a lot of time thinking about others, whether it was consulting with a nephew on his educational career, or using her considerable research skills to assist a friend or relative mulling a major decision, or simply shooting off e-mails of interesting articles that “I thought you might like...” Her unwavering thoughtfulness also showed in her gift giving, which always epitomized the time and consideration she put into each token – her brother's first baseball mitt, a conductor's baton for a classical-music-loving nephew, or an obscure and delightful baby toy, not just pulled from some big-box store shelf.
Kathleen was born in Gainesville, Fla., on Oct. 17, 1954, the oldest of four children to Dolores and Thomas Carney. She grew up in St. Petersburg, Fla., and was not yet 10 when her dad, an attorney and state legislator, died suddenly. The family moved to the San Francisco Bay Area and Old Saybrook, Conn., before returning to Florida. Kathleen graduated from Chestnut Hill College in Philadelphia, then received her Master's degree in Library Science from the University of South Florida.
She got her first real job in Chicago, a city she loved and was able to share with her younger sister and her family. It was there she met a kindred spirit, her beloved wife, Karen Mix; in July they would have been together 30 years. They moved to Boston in 1987, and married in 2005 – an event that, in hindsight, Kathleen regretted she didn't play up more romantically than a simple trip to City Hall, and which led to gentle ribbing from loved ones, mock-annoyed at being denied the celebration their union deserved.
Kathleen is survived by Mix, her mother, Dolores Shipp (J.Raymond) of Palm Harbor, Fla., her sister, Maureen Lux (Thomas) of San Diego, Calif., her brother, Stephen Carney (Megan) of Long Beach, Calif., as well as her nieces, nephews, two grand-nephews, in-laws and countless friends, all of whom miss her terribly, and all of whom treasure the time they spent in her company.
In addition to her father, she was preceded in death by her brother Michael (Susan), who died in 2010.
Kathleen awed her family with her strength and determination. Even near the end, she betrayed not a moment of self-pity, instead saving her concern for family and friends.
A memorial service and reception will be held on Sunday, April 27 beginning at 2p.m. at the Wellesley College Club, 727 Washington St., Wellesley, Mass.
In lieu of flowers, donations should be made to the Breast Cancer Investigation Fund at Massachusetts General Hospital. Please mail gifts to MGH Development, attn. Heidi Bergmeyer, 100 Cambridge St., Suite 1310, Boston, Mass. 02114.