Elizabeth Brown MacDonald – Woodie, Bette, Betts, Mum, Nana – died Friday, April 17, at the Taylor Community in Laconia at the age of 84. With her height and cloud of white curls, Bette stood out in any crowd, and her blue eyes and warm smile welcomed everyone. Bette died as she lived, graciously accepting her challenges and inspiring others with her will to love, to give, to live.
The daughter of Robert F. Brown and Bertha Colby Brown, Bette was born at home in Ashland, New Hampshire on February 24, 1931. As she was growing up school teachers boarded at her parents’ brick house in the center of town. Their presence and lively conversation instilled in Bette her lifelong love of people and education. Bette attended the University of New Hampshire where she earned a B.A. with honors in psychology, played women’s basketball (then half-court and in skirts) and enjoyed the activities of the Episcopal Student Group and her sorority, Theta U. She met Mendon her sophomore year, starting a conversation that would lead to their wedding on June 20, 1953, and continue through almost sixty-three years of marriage. The only time their children recall “harsh words” was over anchovies on a pizza. She didn’t like them. She liked salt air, though, and last summer, the family celebrated Bette and Mendon’s anniversary with an afternoon sail on a schooner on Casco Bay.
After college, Bette worked first with the Philadelphia Medical Society. Her job was to interview women breast cancer patients to find out how long they had lived with a suspicion of cancer before they were diagnosed or treated. At a time when the initial medical response to a lump was “observation,” the data she helped collect was used to show that early intervention led to better outcomes. Following Mendon’s completion of medical school, the couple moved to Buffalo, New York, for his residency, and Bette worked on staff for the Girl Scouts of America. Girl Scout activities like singing around a campfire, or anywhere, would become a family trademark. Bette and Mendon next moved to Richards-Gebauer Air Force Base in Missouri for two years of military service, during which time the first of their three children was born. The family then moved to Hanover, NH, for Mendon to complete his medical training at Dartmouth’s Mary Hitchcock Hospital, and settled in the Lakes Region in 1961.
Bette and Mendon were part of a generation of parents who made growing up in Gilford magical for their children. Bette enjoyed doing everything, and if she couldn’t, she made sure her family did: alpine and Nordic skiing, hiking, camping, swimming, sailing, attending symphony concerts, participating in church plays and choirs, making floats for Old Home Day parades, gardening, apple and berry picking, bidding at antique auctions, and taking drives on New Hampshire’s back roads. She loved watching birds while at the kitchen sink window, and tended generations of pets. When the barn attached to the MacDonald’s 18th–century farm house burned to the ground, Bette located another one as well as a contractor who would take it down and reassemble it in Gilford. Bette organized a huge potluck and barn dance complete with a caller to celebrate its rebuilding.
Although multiple sclerosis, diagnosed in her late 30’s, would at times severely limit Bette’s mobility, it did not limit her involvement in the community. She astounded everyone with her strength and perseverance and mentored others when they were newly diagnosed with MS. Over the years she taught ski lessons and Sunday school, led two Girl Scout troops, worked - and shopped - the church rummage sale. She took time to meet candidates, vote and attend town meeting. Bette served on numerous boards and committees from the Laconia League of Women Voters to the Laconia Congregational Church Mission and Refugee Committees, Swift Water Girl Scout Council, Gilford Middle-High School Building Committee and then School Board, Tilton School Board of Trustees, State Conference of the United Church of Christ, Havenwood-Heritage Heights Retirement Community, Taylor Home, Habitat for Humanity, and Geneva Point Conference Center. Exemplifying the theme “Volunteers - the Spirit of Gilford,” Bette and Mendon were named Parade Grand Marshalls for their town’s 1996 Old Home Day.
The MacDonalds welcomed friends, exchange students, and newly-arrived refugees from around the world into their home. Craig Bennett from Tasmania stayed a year to attend Gilford High School and recently came back to visit with his wife and children. Bette, too, loved to travel and coordinated family car trips up and down the East coast and all over the United States. She later travelled with Mendon to Russia, Scotland, the Virgin Islands and Alaska. Bette also cherished the music and friendships that came out of singing in the Laconia Congregational Church Choir and the Pemigewasset Chorale. And whether it was grace at the supper table, rounds in the car, campfire ditties, or church hymns, she had a song for every occasion. In challenging times the family turned to a favorite based on Isaiah: “Those who run a good race shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary they shall walk and not faint. Help us Lord, help us Lord in thy ways.”
Bette worked for five years at Educational Talent Search counseling students on the application and financial aid process. Mindful of the gift of college tuition she received from her father’s employer, she encouraged these students, many of whom were the first in their families to apply to college, toward previously unimagined goals. As a grandmother, she also nurtured the next generation, whether teaching grandchildren to make applesauce and oatmeal bread or cheering them on at sporting events and dance recitals. She was delighted when they tried a variety of activities from church service trips to math camp and art projects, from writing poetry, to acting in plays, to traveling abroad.
Bette is survived by her husband Dr. Mendon MacDonald; three children and their spouses: Jane MacDonald and Cindy Bilbow of New Hampton, Susan MacDonald Hatem and Jim Hatem of Bow, and Daniel MacDonald of Kennebunk, Maine; nine grandchildren and two great grandchildren: Jennifer and Leslie Smith, and Leslie’s family, Mike Vogel, Andrew and Rachael; Cali, Emile, Elias and Evelyn Hatem, and Issak, Sophia and Jacquelyn Allaire-MacDonald. She is also survived by her brother E. Alden Brown of Williamsburg, Virginia and sister-in-law Betty Gail Derby of Laconia, extended family, and dear friends near and far.
The family is very grateful to the staff of Ledgeview Nursing Care Center at the Taylor Community and Central NH VNA and Hospice for their support, kindness and excellent care during her final months with pancreatic cancer.
Arrangements for a memorial service are being made for a later date. In lieu of flowers, donations in Bette’s memory may be made to the Dorcas Fund, a local emergency assistance fund to help persons in need in the Laconia area, at the Laconia Congregational Church, 18 Veteran’s Square, Laconia, NH 03246, or to the UNH Foundation, Elliott Alumni Center, 9 Edgewood Road, Durham, NH 03824.
Wilkinson-Beane-Simoneau-Paquette Funeral Home & Cremation Services, 164 Pleasant Street, Laconia, NH is assisting the family with the arrangements. For more information and to view an online memorial visit www.wilkinsonbeane.com.