Nancy Gaudette Frykberg’s entire life, albeit far too short at 50 years, was a celebration, one big party that she hosted on her terms, with her rules (which, let’s face it, really meant “no rules” at all), and she included everyone around her – hurting or healthy, she saw beyond flaws and into the souls and goodness of every human being. On Saturday, November 15, Nancy died after a battle with cancer that she threw the gloves off to fight.
Nancy was a unique woman who could recreate any recipe simply by smelling it in a restaurant, make a martini that could knock a professional boxer down for the count, watch or read anything scary, the creepier the better, stay up until 2 a.m. only to wake a few hours later, refreshed and ready for the next adventure, and she was, by far, the most colorful, outspoken rule breaker of her gigantic circle of family and friends.
Other than Nancy’s Halloween traditions – her parties were legendary, her costumes beyond creative (a genie sitting on a carpet comes to mind, and, just last year, when treatments had left her without hair, instead of calling off her party, she simply used what she had to pull off a mean Uncle Fester – but, other than those types of “traditions”, there was absolutely nothing traditional about Nancy. And so, there should be nothing traditional about her send off.
Nancy’s ability to cheer people up and make them laugh was evident when she was voted Worcester Magazine’s best bartender in the city, not once but several years running. She loved helping others, and she was great at it. Each year, she cooked a phenomenal Thanksgiving dinner for anyone without a place to go. Her family does remember one year, though, at their own family Thanksgiving bash, always held the Saturday after the holiday, when Nancy was a bit late. Well, more like 3 hours late, which wouldn’t have been too bad, or even unusual, but that was the last year she was put in charge of the turkey. What did we say about no rules? I think you are starting to get it.
After earning a certificate in architectural design from Harvard Graduate School in 1986, Nancy worked for a while at Cutler, starting as a landscaper and working her way up to an architectural designer. But anyone who knows Nancy could have guessed that a quiet office could never hold our girl in, and she chose, instead, to work with children. She loved her job at Wachusett High School, where she worked for 20 years. The children she worked with meant so much to her. But then again, all kids did.
Nancy was a loving mother to her son, Michael Best. He remembers snuggling up with her on Friday nights to watch Tales from the Crypt. Yes, that was the cool kind of mom she was.
And friends. Oh, did Nancy have friends. She cherished her “Girlfriends Gone Wild” weekends to various destinations. Maine was one of her favorite places to be, although she was always up for a trip anywhere on a moment’s notice, especially if the destination was close to the ocean. In her last year and a half, much of her bucket list had to do with the sea, and she checked off every trip, from visiting the Caribbean several times with friends and family, to taking day trips with her mom to Marblehead to visit her brother and, even in her last week, she checked off her final bucket list trip to Provincetown. There was nothing more calming to her than looking out over the waves, over the horizon, warm sun blanketing her body, drink in one hand and a book in the other. “I’m good,” she’d say over and over again, even as her illness was taking over. And life was good for Nancy. In addition to her love of cooking, she loved to read, she loved movies and music and gardening. Everything, really, that stimulated the senses: the feel of dirt as she planted, the sights and colors of the world, the taste of great food, the smell of the ocean. And she didn’t just love these things. She loved these things with every ounce of her being.
Nancy had aspirations to be a comedian. But even though she never took the stage, she always “took the stage”. Anyone who spent more than a minute with her was left in a fit of laughter. Her sense of humor was quick, witty, kind and perfect for every occasion.
Nancy was deeply affected by the loss of her stepfather and partner in crime, Greg Mahan, who shared her twisted wit and good-natured pranks pulled on her mother, Mary Mahan of Oxford; her sisters, Trisha Daige of Leicester, Danielle Steiger of Oxford, and Sarah Mahan of Holden; and her brothers, Ken Gaudette of Charlton, and Jim Gaudette of Marblehead. All of them will miss her unpredictable shenanigans, her bright smile, and her undeniably Nancy-big laugh. It’s simply a sound that once you hear it becomes indelibly part of you. Her grandmother, Mary Paquette of Oxford, will miss her cheerful talks and positive attitude. She was also an aunt to 8, including her little “boo-boo”, Jackson, her great-nephew with whom she shared very special bond, and so many others, too many to name, who called her auntie, niece, cousin and friend. She is also survived by a half-sister, Bobbie Gaudette Constanzo, and a half-brother, Norman Gaudette.
Nancy made it very clear that she didn’t want any sadness when she was gone, although she did drive her sisters crazy over the last year, singing, “You Will Miss Me When I’m Gone,” always singing it with that glint in her eye. How could she not know she would be missed? But she didn’t want tears. She wanted laughter and celebration.
Nancy’s family and friends were gifted 50 years of that indelible smile and a larger-than-life laugh, the kind that comes from the toes, up through the belly, and radiates across a room and beyond. In fact, when Nancy entered a room, every person in that room knew it, turned toward her light, and smiled back. You just simply couldn’t help yourself. She was loud, yes, but she was warm and she was kind – oh, was she kind.
Conversely, when Nancy left a party (which, let’s face it, wasn’t often) the room always felt a little darker and a little bit colder.
Unfortunately, on November 15, 2014, the world got a whole lot darker and a whole lot colder when Nancy’s body let go of the battle it had been fighting for a very long time. Her pain is gone now, and now there is a giant hole in a whole lot of hearts. But we take comfort in what we had: A true angel who selflessly gave her time and love to everyone around her, never once asking for anything in return, except, perhaps, that we follow her lead: live every moment, take nothing for granted, laugh whenever you can and as loud as you can, sing even if it hurts everyone else’s ears, cry only when you have to, eat as much great food as you can, watch the campiest B movies you can find, jump in the ocean and let the waves lift you up and away. Remember yesterday. Dream about tomorrow. But live as hard as you can today.
Special thanks go out to Nancy’s mom, Mary Mahan, who stood by her side, daily, throughout her illness; to the amazing doctors at Dana Farber Cancer Institute, particularly Dr. Beth Overmoyer, who went above and beyond to make Nancy feel comfortable and alive; and to all her friends, especially Mary Donnelly and Elio Chimento, who rallied by her side this past year, a year which was a true gift to everyone in Nancy’s life.
As a final gesture of selflessness, Nancy donated her body to UMass for scientific research. Even in death, she will continue to help people.
A Mass will be held for Nancy on Friday, November 21, Nancy’s actual birthday, at Our Lady of the Angels Church, 1222 Main Street, Worcester, at 9:30 a.m., followed that evening by a party to celebrate her beautiful life at Hillcrest Country Club, 325 Pleasant Street, Leicester, at 5 p.m.
Alfred Roy & Sons Funeral Home 12 Hammond St. Worcester is assisting the family with arrangements.
To share a memory of Nancy or sign the online guestbook please visit www.Royfuneral.com